Stairway to Pain

So yesterday morning when Charlotte woke up I went to get her as usual. I was one minute away from leaving for work and I had my socks on. I usually don’t wear my socks when I go up and down the steps because it’s slippery and socks and steps don’t mix. And then the unthinkable happened. My worst nightmare since moving into a house with three flights of stairs. I fell down almost the entire flight of stairs holding my child.

I never really thought this would happen because I’m so very careful on steps, but they’re called accidents for a reason and I think this can really happen to anybody. I shouldn’t have had my socks on for sure, and maybe I shouldn’t be carrying my 4 year old down steps, but of course it’s easy to say that now. If you asked me to recreate the fall I really couldn’t because it happened so quickly, but I can tell you that it’s true what they say about your motherly instincts. Charlotte walked away unscathed. Not a bump, scratch or thump. I basically enveloped her into my body and when we landed at the bottom she kept saying “I got you mommy you’re okay I protect you!” So I am basically a hero and you can start a go fund me for me at any time you’d like.

I, however, am not unscathed. I am a disaster. I am someone who really doesn’t get hurt. I’m not prone to accidents and I have never broken a bone. Well, apparently I have broken a bone because my X-rays showed a fracture in my ankle that’s apparently years old so there’s that. Right now I’m wrapped up from my knee down, with a boot on my foot with my unpedicured toenails sticking out and driving me insane. Everything on my body hurts today but nothing more than my knee, which feels like it’s crooked and on the wrong way. I can’t really walk and all I can do is lay with my leg up but that’s kind of hard to do with a four year old. I think the last time I was in this much pain was recovering from childbirth and we all know how fun that is.

Anyway, I’m writing about this so I remember not to wear socks on the steps and maybe if you’re someone who has stairs and children to be extra careful. This laying down business would be a dream except for the child I have to care for, but if I didn’t have the child then I most likely wouldn’t have fallen and then I wouldn’t have a go fund me in my honor.

(I’m just kidding about the go fund me. Maybe.)