Potty Training Can Die

I have talked about every other shitty aspect of parenting on this blog, so it only makes sense that I talk about literal shit, right? POTTY TRAINING CAN DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

There came a day when Charlotte decided she was going to pee on the toilet.  She did it on her own and it was a glorious time.  We bought pull-ups and she was peeing on every toilet everywhere.  I smugly said to everyone how she trained herself on #1 and thought, finally! Something with this child is easy!

Fast forward to now when we are back in diapers because this kid refuses to pee in any toilet, peed in all of her pull-ups and got a rash that still has not gone away no matter how much cream I smear over her ass.  WHY GOD? WHY?  Everything sucks.  I hate diapers so much.  She is so infuriating because I KNOW she can do it and she is just choosing not to.  I should have known better than to think anything with this kid is easy.

And before anyone tells me that I should take 2 days and leave her diaper-less and force her on the toilet, take that advice and shove it up your potty-trained ass.  Every time I try to do this she comes running at me with a diaper and screams at me to put it on her and refuses to stay naked.  She will just lay on the floor and scream her head off until the diaper is on, and if I let her scream and keep it off she just pees on the floor anyway.  Like a dog.

So I’ve decided I’m not potty training her anymore and I’ll just wait until we get back from Disney to figure this shit out.  Pun intended.