I feel like most toddlers have little habits that get them through their difficult toddlers lives and my kid is no different. The older she gets, the more independent she gets, and the more she has to do things HER way. Right now her favorite thing to say is “Char do! I do! CHAR DO MAMA!!!” when it comes to doing anything. Except peeing on the toilet because she won’t even attempt that. She’d rather pee on the floor. We aren’t potty training in our house yet if you can’t tell. Anyway, the habits she has and the way she likes things done is constantly entertaining, albeit rather irritating for her parents.
- When she has any kind of jacket or sweatshirt on she HAS to have it zippered immediately. And she has to wear only a green jacket that isn’t even hers. It’s a boys jacket that is two sizes too big for her but she doesn’t care. She shouts GWEEN and then tries to close it herself and screams until it’s zipped up. And she hates sweaters with buttons. She has no time for buttons.
- When it comes to her shoes the only ones she will wear are pink Nike shoes that were handed down to me by my cousin. She has about 57 pairs of shoes but will only wear these. If you try to put another pair on her she screams PINK at you until your ear drums bleed and you wonder why you stopped taking birth control and decided to procreate.
- When it comes to clothes in general, if she is wearing long pants and they ride up her leg prepare for a meltdown of epic proportions until the pant leg is pulled down to its rightful place. I don’t think she will ever wear capri pants. I don’t know how she’s going to handle shorts in the summer. I see fun times ahead.
- She loves those Lipton soup packets that are full of nutritious things like a days worth of sodium, but you can’t call it soup if you are giving it to her. It has to be the ring-o-noodles kind and you have to call them O’s. If you say do you want soup she tells you no, but if you ask if you want O’s she says yes. This makes no sense to me because it is the same thing, but then again nothing about parenting a toddler makes sense to me.
- Speaking of food, if you try to cut up a banana and give it to her she’s not going to eat it. She’s going to throw herself on the floor and scream BIGGGGGGGGG BIGGGGGGGGGG because why give her a cut up banana that reduces a choking hazard when she can eat from the big banana and you can have a mild heart attack with every bite she takes?
- I can’t brush her teeth, ever. Other people can brush her teeth but if it’s only me around she has to brush her teeth and she has to watch herself do it in the mirror. She does not know how to brush her teeth no matter how many times I try to show her. She just sucks the toothpaste off and then takes it out of her mouth and wipes it on my clothes and says “ha funny!” We’ll see who is laughing when your teeth are rotting out of your mouth little girl. Bet you’ll regret the days you didn’t let me brush them. What are the side effects of eating toothpaste anyway? I’m afraid to google.
These are just a few examples that I can remember right now. I’m pretty tired since she woke up at 4:30 this morning chanting “OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR!” because WHY NOT. Viva la motherhood.