Page 2 of 45

Organization Queen

I have touched before on this space how I tend to be on the anxious side when it comes to clutter and things being out of place in my house.  For example, I will think of something I haven’t seen in a while and then go on a massive reorganizing spree to find it and make sure it is where I left it.  I did this over the weekend and dragged Eric into it and it was a production (but I did manage to reorganize all of the storage in my bedroom and my basement so it was worth it).  Anyway, Charlotte is beginning to pick up on these habits of mine and developing habits of her own.  Every morning she must remake her bed.  It doesn’t matter if we are running late, she is going to take the time to fix her bed the way she likes it.  If (and really, I mean when) she comes into my room on the weekend and Eric goes to sleep in her room, she yells at him the next morning for messing up her bed and then mutters to herself that she has to fix everything.  I wonder where she got that from?

She has also started to take out all of the clothes from her dresser and refold them at least twice a week.  I’ll find her upstairs with piles of clothes around her refolding every shirt and pair of pants she has and putting them in new places.  Whenever she finishes she needs to show me what she did and is honestly SO proud of herself.

There are times I wish I was a little less stressed out about dishes left in the sink or toys where they don’t belong, but I have to say I don’t think it’s the worst thing in the world that Charlotte is showing organizational tendencies.  I am also really happy that I can give her clothes to fold and put away and she doesn’t yet understand that it is a chore.  She’s at the right age now to start giving her real responsibility and I think it will be a big help when her sister comes.  Maybe I can give her nighttime duty then?  A mom can dream.

Grown Up

Charlotte has recently decided she wants to be a grown up.  Every day she tells me she wants to be a grown up and lists the reasons why.  The number one reason is that she wants to touch knives.  She says she wants to hold them and touch them and cut things.  Not concerning at all.  She also wants to be a grown up because she wants to be bigger than me, she wants to drive a car and she wants to take a shower by herself.  I told her she could take a shower by herself now and she said “well I wouldn’t wash anything.”  And I said that is why you aren’t ready to be a grown up and she called me a “pain in the” which is what she always calls me when she is aggravated with my answers and she thinks it’s OK because she stops short of the word ass.

This morning when I was laying with her before we got up for the day I felt the baby moving and she was upset she couldn’t feel it, so she said she wants to be a grown up so she can have her own baby in her belly.  I told her she should do A LOT OF THINGS before she gets a baby in her belly and she looked up at me and said “oh I know.  I gotta touch knives first.”

Baby Things

It is crazy to me how much things have changed since Charlotte was a newborn — and it was only five years ago!  For instance, the contraption she used to sleep in has been recalled indefinitely and no longer produced because of infant deaths.  I’m glad they figured that one out?  Because things change so quickly, this time around I’ll be renting a SNOO which is supposed to make the baby sleep, which is all I require of a bed.  And I’m renting it since it’s insanely expensive and the baby shop is closed after this.  Also, the breast pump I’ll be getting this time around is finally covered by insurance and has Bluetooth and syncs up to an app on my phone.  Technology is crazy, man.

In terms of new things, I feel like I don’t need that much because I do have so much stuff left over from Charlotte, specifically clothes (many items still with tags) and tons of baby toys.  I saved almost everything!  I have also gotten some things from my family and friends who have had babies more recently than I, so that has been nice and helpful!

I made a baby registry on Amazon for a few things, but I’m asking all of you out there if there is something I should be getting for the second that I may not have had for the first?  Like this time around I registered for a legit pack and play (which I didn’t need for Char) because now we are in a house and I’m 100% going to need it for the main floor.  I also registered for a diaper backpack because the diaper bag used to just hurt my arm.  We’re going to need a new crib, but I’m not getting that until baby is like 6 months old, and I’ll be getting it from Ikea because I know how LITTLE I CARE ABOUT CRIBS NOW.  So, if anyone has baby #2 item suggestions, please send them my way!

It’s crazy to think I’m halfway to having two children.  This SNOO better work.

I was reading a book in the car a couple of weeks ago and Charlotte asked me what I was doing.  When I told her I was reading, she asked me why I wasn’t saying anything.  I was confused for a minute, because it never occurred to me that she associates reading only with reading out loud, because that is how everything is read to her.  I explained what I was doing and she seemed satisfied and didn’t bring it up again.

Last night I was reading The Giraffe and the Pelly and Me to her when she interrupted me to bring up the car reading.  “How do you read to yourself?  How do you know the words if you don’t say the words?”  Sometimes her questions truly baffle me.  I’ve never actually thought to myself how to explain reading alone!  I told her to think of her name, but only in her head, and say the name in her head.  She proceeded to say Charlotte out loud, so the exercise didn’t work.  I repeated that reading to yourself is just saying everything inside your head, and then she said “OK, I’m just confused now so can you keep reading to me but say the words outside your head not inside your head?” and so I did.  I guess I don’t have all the answers or explanations at the ready.

I like to write down moments like this for me to look back on later.  It wasn’t anything momentous or exciting, but I think in 15 years I’ll have a laugh about how one night I couldn’t figure out how to explain reading.

No More Presents?

In case anyone is wondering, Charlotte is NOT happy that Christmas is over and her birthday isn’t until the end of February because that means the presents are officially over.  She asked me what holiday was next and I said MLK day on January 15 and she asked what presents she gets then.  I think she’s a little too hung up on presents if you ask me.

I will say that she is actively using every single gift she got, which is a welcome sight.  She paints and colors every single day at her new art desk, she plays with her Barbies and the Barbie dream house on the daily, she zooms around the house on her scooter (she doesn’t like the way it sounds on the concrete outside so she won’t use it there, WTF?)  and we play all of the board games and read all of the books she got.  It’s nice to see her enjoying everything she received, to be happy with it, and to leave me the hell alone.

I’m finally at a point in this pregnancy where I don’t feel like I’m going to fall over every second of the day from pain and exhaustion.  I’ve been exercising consistently, which is hilarious because I basically stopped exercising the entire summer and now that I can’t lose any weight I’ve started up again?  Oh well.  At least it makes me feel better as I watch the scale creep up and watch my body change.  And it makes me feel stronger and has really helped my pelvic pain.  But I’ve decided I’m not going to worry about it because I’m growing a human, which is the coolest thing my body can do, and I’ll lose the weight when it’s over.  I have been trying very hard since the end of the holiday season to make sure I’m eating tons and fruits and vegetables but the damage from Christmas is done.  Baby girl and I enjoyed our cake and cookies and cheese and more cheese.  Charlotte enjoyed her presents, I enjoyed my cheese, and neither one of us are getting anymore.

It’s that lovely time of year where nobody knows what day it is and Christmas feels like a lifetime ago even though it hasn’t even been a week.  I am in a fog of gifts and leftovers and cleaning and trying to organize the house so the mountains of gifts don’t take over everything and let me just say that doing this all sober is NOT FUN.  I did not think I would miss alcohol this much.  Sure, I missed alcohol when I was pregnant with Charlotte, but this time around I would suck a sponge filled with Listerine to get some of this holiday edge off.  Cleaning up Barbie shoes 600 times a day would be easier with a glass or three of champagne.  This is going to be the longest six months of my life.

Charlotte really did love Christmas though, even though she immediately pointed out that she did not receive a new bike.  I told her Santa said he was going to leave the bike for her birthday because it is winter time and she can’t ride it anyway, so she’s taken to riding her new scooter in the house as consolation.  Her favorite gift is the Barbie dream house and she will honestly go into her room and play with it alone for an hour, which is a DREAM for me.  I love when she play alone because it gives me time to clean the kitchen/bathrooms, vacuum and mop the floors and wipe down the cabinets.  You know, quality me time.

I am honestly ready for the holiday hullabaloo to be over though.  I want to be back to a routine and settled down for the misery of winter that is to come.

If anyone is participating in Dry January, I’m your girl!  Happy new year.  New year, new me, blah blah blah.

Yule Log Kids

We’re at the point in the holiday season (is it even a season right now?  It just feels like a race with a deadline at the end of it.  Yeesh.) where threats to Santa just aren’t working.  The attitude of my child is astounding.  The talking back really makes me wonder if she has a death wish.  And every time I yell “Alexa! Call Santa!” she stares at me with a daring look in her eyes.  She’s mocking me.

Last night I was really done so I told her how every Christmas morning when we open presents we watch the Yule Log on TV.  The Yule Log is the backdrop to all of my Christmas mornings.  I told her about the Christmas songs and the fireplace.  And then I told her the purpose of the Yule Log is because it is where Santa puts all of the presents of the bad children on Christmas Eve night, and the good children watch them burn as they open up their gifts the next morning.  And that if she didn’t get her act together she was going to be a Yule Log kid.  When she went to sleep she apologized for talking back to me and that she didn’t want to be a Yule Log kid.  So it worked, and that’s that.

Please feel free to spread this threat.  I’m actually pretty proud of myself for thinking of it so quickly.  Sometimes the ideas just come to me, you know?  Like I always say, fear is Christmas magic.

News News News

Well where do I begin?  As most of you know by now, I’m knocked up.  Girl numero dos is on the way, arriving June 2020.  We have a name and a story to go with the name but I’m not ready to share yet.  I will share that I already feel enormous, am suffering from posterior pelvic pain and Charlotte makes up songs about “mommy fat” daily.  It’s been fun!  So fun!  In all seriousness, I’m thrilled to be pregnant again and even though I am nervous and afraid and already filled with anxiety about life with two, I’m ready for baby snuggles and baby stretches and seeing Charlotte as a big sister.  It’ll be fine.  Totally fine.  Easy breezy.  If this kid doesn’t sleep I’ll jump off the roof.

In other news, we took Charlotte to her first movie on Saturday and we didn’t have to leave!  Eric and I checked out how many people bought tickets to a 4:40 showing of Frozen 2, and when we saw only 4 tickets were purchased we bought seats way in the back so we were away from everyone.  Charlotte did not appreciate previews and wasn’t a fan of the seat because it moved.  She made sure to say this 500 times, and eventually just made her way into my lap for most of the movie.  Aside from the 10 minute performance of Jingle Bells she just had to give, telling us she doesn’t like movies because they are too long and asking to go home a few times, for most of it she was good!  And we made it through to the end.  She told me her favorite part was “Kristoff relaxing where you saw his feet” which is a part I certainly don’t remember but I’m glad it stuck out in her mind.  The only issue now is she is harping on dead parents because Anna and Elsa have dead parents and she keeps asking me who is going to be her mom and dad when Eric and I die and is continually bringing up my death, so maybe the movie wasn’t the best idea after all?  Ah well, Eric and I thoroughly enjoyed it and now we know we can take her to a movie.

COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS IS ON! I called Santa this morning because Charlotte screamed at me that I was the worst mother ever because I wouldn’t let her have a chocolate coin for breakfast.  And then I ate a chocolate coin for breakfast.

Elf Games

If you happen to follow me on Instagram, you’ll notice that every morning I post a photograph or video of where I have hidden our Elf, Baci, with a musical theme.  If you happen to follow my husband Eric, you will notice that he does that same thing, with a different photo and song choice.  Every day we come up with the idea of where the Elf is going to go and then we fight over what song we’re going to use and who has a better idea.  He won the My Little Pony round with “Pony” by Ginuwine, but I won the Mission Impossible round.  Every day we are trying to come up with something more ridiculous and extravagant.  Every day we try to see who gets better reactions.  THIS IS WHO WE HAVE BECOME.  WE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF OURSELVES.

Charlotte likes to look at Baci once in the morning and then forgets about it.  Eric and I can’t forget about it.  How can we ever stop thinking about Baci when we still have two weeks of ideas we need to come up with?  Remember two years ago when all I did was talk shit about the elf?  WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?

Eric goes back to work next week though, so the Elf is going to become my sole responsibility again and therefore I will always win with clever ideas.  Sorry Eric.

Things Charlotte Dislikes: Holiday Edition

  1. That she can’t touch Baci, her elf on the shelf.  She stares sooooo hard at him with her little hand itching to reach out and grab him.  I’ve really instilled the fear though.  I love when she does something wrong and she starts chanting under her breath “don’t tell Baci don’t tell Baci.”  FEAR IS CHRISTMAS MAGIC.
  2. That baby Jesus isn’t a girl.  She’s real pissed about this one.  She is not about boy babies at ALL.  When she plays with her nativity set she gets all aggravated that Jesus has to be a boy and she can’t change it.
  3. That she can’t eat all her of Advent chocolate in one shot.  Opening one door a day is an act in patience she does not want to master.  She got around it though, because Eric also has an advent calendar, so she just eats his chocolate.
  4. That I told her she isn’t allowed to change her Santa list or continue to add things because Santa closed his workshop AND THAT IS IT.  The wish list is finito.  The elves are done.
  5. That she has to wait another 22 days for it to be Christmas morning.  I remember how slow December felt when I was a kid, so I get this.
  6. That the Christmas colors are red and green.  As she says, red and green are NOT her favorite colors.  Pink, purple and blue are.
  7. That I yell at her when she tries to move the ornaments on the tree 500 times a day and puts 4 ornaments on one branch and tells me “you never let me do anything I want” and “ARIEL AND JACK SKELLINGTON WANT TO BE NEXT TO EACH OTHER” and “you are the worst mommy ever.”  And then I grab Baci and shove him in her face.  FEAR IS CHRISTMAS MAGIC.