[Insert Curses Here]

It’s May 21, 8 PM, Eastern Standard Time. From here on in I weep into my hands. (You’re one of my people if you get this reference.)

We’ve had a bit of a rough go these past few weeks getting Mackenzie to sleep and then to stay asleep but we had seemed to turn a corner. And then last night happened. I put her in her crib, she was screaming, I walked downstairs to ignore her and then we heard it. The thud. The end of the cries. And then the door opening. She climbed out, and all our lives are over.

It took about another 45 minutes of me sitting in the chair of her room and then on the floor next to her but she eventually fell asleep. But because this is my child, she did not stay asleep. Enter 1:30 AM. Crying, screaming, and then, as if a lightbulb went off, “I can get out of here!”

And that’s a wrap folks! I have no choice now but to change her crib, her beloved crib, into a toddler bed. How the hell am I going to get her to stay in here? I don’t even know what to do because we all know how I failed miserably with Charlotte. I had both of them in my bed by 2 AM. Everything is terrible.

Did I mention we’re also seriously potty training her? Why not have two huge life changes at the exact same time? We had her naked all day yesterday for that weird naked potty training method but weirdly it’s working? So at least I have that positive?

If anyone has any tips, tricks or just general words of encouragement on how to get this kid to sleep in a toddler bed, please send them my way. You’d think I didn’t already have a whole other kid but I don’t want to fail twice. God be with me.