As I’ve said before, Mackenzie has beaten Charlotte in the sleep wars since birth. By this age Charlotte was already out of a crib and in my bed permanently. Mackenzie goes to bed without a fuss and I would say 90% of the time sleeps without incident. But that other 10% of the time is a struggle of epic proportions. Let’s discuss this past Saturday night in our house. Mackenzie went to bed without incident a little after 7 PM. At 11:53 PM the crying began. Eric and I tried to ignore her but then we heard Charlotte stomping up the bedroom stairs, because of course she can hear her sister through their shared wall. The cries are getting louder and louder. She is now screaming MOMMY HELP ME over and over. Eric turns the fan on to drown her out and I angrily stomp into her room to try and deal with this situation. Here is what followed:

“I need a drink.” We go downstairs for a drink. I tell her we are going back up and I will hold her for a bit and then she has to go back to sleep in her crib. “Mommy hold me five minutes and then after hold me four minutes.” I am holding her and she begins whispering things to me. “Take me to grandma Lena’s house. Put on the light. Me want grandma Lena’s pizza. Me want to play with the dough.” It is after midnight child. Grandma Lena is not making any pizza at this hour! I tell her she has to go to bed and we’ll call about the pizza tomorrow. “Hold me five minutes! Me want a treat tomorrow!” I end up staying in the damn room for 45 minutes and tell her it’s time to go back to sleep. She says “night night mommy” and I assume this is all over now. I go back upstairs and see Charlotte has completely overtaken my side of the bed and then I hear the screaming begin anew. Mackenzie is now filled with a rage of a thousand burning suns. She is screaming “MOMMY COME HERE! COME HERE NOW!” She is standing up with head thrown back yelling into the void. And now she starts to scream “MOMMY I HATE YOU” over and over, which is really just such a delight. I was this close to speaking back into the monitor and telling her I hate you too but I don’t think that would have helped matters all that much. By this point it is after 1 AM. I am tired. I am angry. I am done with her shit. She starts asking to come into my room, which would be an absolute comedy show. We have a queen sized bed (we really should just get a king at this point) and I already have Eric and Charlotte taking up most of it. There is no room for you tiny demon! She stops telling me she hates me and now tells me she needs me and wants another drink. NO! NO MORE DRINKS! After 20 minutes she finally gives in and goes to bed until she wakes up for the day at 5:57. I rolled over and told Eric it was his turn. I am not dealing with her again.

And then last night she slept 7-7 so I don’t understand the rhyme or reason to her antics at all. Sleep is such a beautiful thing. Why do my children hate it so?

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