The New Prohibition

While we are all very happy that Charlotte’s school is finally “normal” – as in they attend five days a week instead of 1-2 day a week like last year – there are still a lot of COVID rules in place that make things a bit difficult for the kids. Sure, they’re masked up all day long – even outside – and sure, they get tests sent home every other week or so, but that’s not what I’m going to discuss today. Today I’m going to talk about the lunch rules, specifically the one where the kids aren’t allowed to share food at all because COVID lives on snacks from home and if they share food they will all get it and cause a massive outbreak over a pack of Oreos.

Think back to when you were in school. Sharing snacks at lunch was the BEST. I’d be trading half my gushers for half a pack of dunkaroos. It’s just one of those lunch time memories that stick with me in my adult years. I love seeing what my friends had in their lunch boxes and they loved seeing what I had in mine. It was the best hour of the school day!

Fast forward to 2022 school times. Charlotte and her friends have gotten in trouble over and over again for sharing snacks – or, heaven forbid! – turning to face a friend while talking to them. Well, as they’ve been saying over and over since COVID began, kids are resilient. And these kids have figured out a way to share their snacks. Charlotte told us this morning that they bring their jackets to lunch, put their jackets over their laps and then pass snacks back and forth that way so the lunch teachers won’t see. It’s the new era of prohibition! Instead of speakeasies for alcohol, it’s a first grade hidden freedom train for some Doritos! These kids are genius! She said nobody has caught on yet and while some parents may frown upon the rule breaking, I think it’s pretty genius and will go so far as to encourage this behavior in the lunch room. Snack trains for all!

And wouldn’t you know it, nobody has tested positive since they started their snack speakeasy program. So maybe COVID doesn’t spread via our children’s Fruit by the Foot. But what do I know?