Baby Mine

I think it’s safe to say I am not in the sleeping children club. Sometimes I go back years in this little blog and read about the many, many times Charlotte started her day at 3 am, 4 am. How she would wake up 50 times a night and basically sleep with me since birth. It took us 5 and a half years for her to sleep in her own room all night, and even still she likes to sleep with me. I was determined to do everything different with Mackenzie, and I have! But she still doesn’t sleep all night. I guess I’ve succeeded in the fact that she is truly on a schedule when Charlotte never was and that she’s never slept in my bed. Those are wins, right? And she has slept all night many more times than Charlotte ever did at this age. But more often than not she is still waking up once or twice a night. But this time around, instead of obsessing over what it is I’m doing wrong, I’m just trying to embrace the fact that these times will pass faster than I’d like. Last night she woke up around 10:30, which was about 10 minutes after I fell asleep of course. I tried to let her cry herself back to sleep, but she finally says mama and listening to her cry “mama mama mama” from her crib made me go into her room without much hesitation. I rocked her in the chair as she put her head on my shoulder and her arms around my neck and I realized there was a time I did this with Charlotte, and I can’t remember when the last time was. There was a night where I held her and rocked her and it was the last time I did it and I didn’t even realize it. So while I was tired and groggy from being jolted awake so quickly after falling asleep, I sat in that chair for a half an hour and rocked my last baby until she was in a deep sleep. I’m sure last night wasn’t the last time, but I’m going to embrace every cuddle and comfort she wants, because I’m never going to do this again.

Was I as enthusiastic when she woke up again at 4? Nope. But here we are. She slept until 7:30 after that, but because the sleep gods are cruel I was woken up by Charlotte at 6 AM standing over my body whispering “it’s Wednesday. The talent show is on.” Because why sleep in when you just HAVE to watch America’s Got Talent?