I know you’re not supposed to have a favorite child, but am I correct in saying that on certain days (or weeks, or months…) you’ll like one of your children more than the other? Perhaps it is because of the age difference, but Mackenzie is my favorite right now. Maybe it is because when I get up and get dressed in the morning, all Mackenzie does is smile at me and Charlotte looks me dead in the eyes and says “you’re wearing that? That dress is pretty but the tie on it is horrible and the sleeves are terrible and I’m sorry I said that out loud but I would never wear that.” Or maybe it’s because all Mackenzie wants me to do is hold her and love her and Charlotte tells me “when I get older I am moving away and you can’t visit me and I will do whatever I want” when I tell her she can’t eat an Oreo for breakfast. It could also be because when it’s time for Mackenzie to go to sleep I put her in her crib with no issues and when it is time for Charlotte to go to sleep she tells me “this is the worst time of my life” and holds her eyelids open until I tell her I’m going to leave the room. It could be all of these things so I can’t really pinpoint the exact reason, but Mackenzie is a much, much easier child to be around.

Obviously we have spent way too much time together since March of 2020 and Lord knows we could both use a break. The days she goes to school we get along much better. She still criticizes my clothes like she is Joan Rivers on the E! red carpet, but at least she is happier and not fighting with me about everything under the sun. Being at work a couple of days a week helps too, even though on Saturday she told me, in front of my mother, that she wishes I would go to work for 100 years. Does it hurt my feelings sometimes? Sure it does. But then I just look at Mackenzie and pray she never turns into the 6 going on 16 year old that Charlotte is.

It’s not all bad. The other night she was very kind and loving to me when my knee was acting up. She helped me put ice on it and asked if we could have a sleepover so I could cuddle her. It just feels like those days are so few and far between. At least Mackenzie loves me and I’ve got a few years before she turns on me too.

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