Hi friends. How are we doing? 2021 isn’t much better than 2020 yet, is it? Ah well, I think we all knew that going in. But we must continue on and hope for better days. Let’s hope we can get this vaccine rolling out ASAP because I am ready to get doused in it if it means I can go back to normal.

So let’s see what has been going on around these parts. Charlotte’s school never opened after winter break, because of course it didn’t. Remote learning is an actual nightmare lately, mostly because they added a new remote teacher who has only been doing social studies which consists of the kids writing down holidays such as “Midsummer in Sweden.” Do you know how long it takes 5 year olds to write that? And WHY are they even doing this? I fail to see the educational value in having a kindergarten class copy down holidays they don’t even understand. I am so damn over it all. I pray this kid gets to go back to school next Thursday because everyone is at their wits end.

I will say she has gotten really, really good at playing alone. Yesterday she played with her Barbies for 3 and a half hour, only stopping to eat lunch and have a snack. I don’t know if this is a product of basically being a prisoner in our homes for 10 months and having very little social interaction with children because the DOE can’t get its shit together, but I’ll take it. She is very creative and I enjoy watching her play, especially because she leaves me alone. She is starting an in person art class on Sunday for the next 10 weeks. It is an actual class where she will learn how to paint and sculpt and stuff, and she is so damn excited that she has been counting down the days since we signed her up. It feels good to be able to give her something to look forward to.

And then there is Mackenzie. The traitorous Judas of our home. I don’t know what we did to deserve such two horrible sleepers, yet here we are. She is the cutest, happiest, chillest baby who just refuses to sleep through any part of the night. And just like with Charlotte, I’ve tried it all. It is infuriating and I am exhausted, yet it feels so familiar that I am managing. I’m going to the doctor today for her checkup so I’m going to ask if they make baby ambien yet.

She still won’t roll over. She’s done it a handful of times from her back to her belly and one time from her belly to her back (which I didn’t even see) so I’m starting to get that panicky feeling that she is somehow behind. I’m going to ask the doctor about it but also make sure that she sees how she sits up on her own. Maybe she just doesn’t want to roll? I DON’T KNOW. She is also so particular about food. The only thing she eats with joyful abandon is squash but I can’t give her squash every day because then she will turn orange. Some days she eats her food without giving me an issue and then other days she gags on whatever I put in her mouth and tries to throw herself out of the high chair. She’s so dramatic. So I have two kids who hate sleep and hate food. What a time.

I feel lucky that I’m able to be home with them while all of the hell rages on outside, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t need a break. Sometimes I feel like I am teetering on the edge of an epic burnout. I’ve started exercising again to see if it can help my mood and anxiety, “self care” if you will. I guess only time will tell. I can’t wait to be out of the dark days of winter.

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