Today is August 7 which is the day the NYC school surveys were due back and supposedly the day Governor Cuomo will say if the schools will be opening at all. We all know that no matter what decision is reached, school as we know it is NOT happening in September. There will be no 5 days a week in person instruction where we can finally get rid of (I mean, send for educational instruction) these children. I don’t even know what the plan is at this point. Is it something like one or two days a week with rotating days and the rest remote? How will we know what days our kids go in? Will it be like The Price is Right where we all get to spin a massive wheel and scream if we get the days we want? YOU GET A TUESDAY! YOU GET A FRIDAY! No questions have been answered and every day there are just more questions. It is an actual shit show.

You want to know who isn’t bothered by any of this? If you guessed Charlotte, you are correct. Charlotte does not give one single you know what. I mean, how could she? She was only in her first year of every day school when the rona came to play. And because I was heavily pregnant for the majority of quarantine and now two months into new babyhood, let’s just say Charlotte’s life has been better at home than it was at school. The American Academy of Pediatrics would probably have a brain aneurysm and drop dead on my door step if they took a look at our screen time analytics. But my level of caring has dropped lower than I can even express. So the thought of setting her up for remote learning and one day a week in the classroom is daunting to say the least. For one, I’m going to have to get her to wear underwear again. I’m also going to have to leave her there which is going to be even more traumatic than it would have been because she has barely left my side for the better part of 6 months. And then I’ll just be at home worrying if she is keeping her mask on, touching things, crying, bored, confused, etc., etc., etc. So why not just opt for all remote learning, you ask? Because whatever was left of my patience has set sail and the thought of me having to teach her five days a week when there is the option to send her in is too good to pass up. The good thing is if she goes in I know she won’t bring any germs home on her clothes because she strips naked and puts her nightgown on the second she gets back in the house, which is good. And since the school plan looks similar to prison life I don’t see her interacting with other kids all that much. God this is depressing.

I really feel bad for everyone. For the parents having to make these insane decisions while worrying about how they’re going to be able to work like this. For teachers and administrative staff that have to figure out WTF is going on. I downloaded Hooked on Phonics for Charlotte, so maybe that will be her teacher. I’m tapping out, waving the white flag, raising the wine glass. I am done.

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