Things Not To Say

I’ve compiled a list of a few things not to say to a pregnant woman (all of which have been said to me this go around).

• Oh you’re just as round in the back as you are in the front!
• Are you having twins? Are you sure?
• You’re not due until June???
• How are you still eating?
• You still have a long way to go.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m pretty sure nobody is more aware of their changing body than a pregnant woman.  And I don’t think they need to be reminded of it from anyone at any time.  Unless, of course, it’s harming the baby somehow.  But at the end of the day, is it so hard to tell someone who is literally growing a damn human that she looks good?  And just leave it at that?  I don’t think there’s ever a better time to lie to someone than when you are talking to a pregnant woman.  The smallest compliment can send her spirits soaring.

For women going through pregnancy, some days are good and some days are bad.  When I was pregnant with Charlotte I had 95% good days.  I really could not complain at all and enjoyed being pregnant almost all of the time.  This time I am getting my ass handed to me on a platter.  I have pelvic pain that will not go away until after I give birth that I feel every. single. day.  There are some days I literally cannot get myself off the couch or out of bed without a production because it feels like I have been shot by a sniper rifle.  If I step wrong or move the wrong way it feels like somebody is kicking me repeatedly on my hip bones and I can’t even walk for long periods of time anymore which is really annoying because walking is one pregnancy exercise you’re supposed to be able to do the entire time!  I do exercise pretty much every day in small increments to try and relieve the pain and also help me not gain an ungodly amount of weight (neither of which seem to be working), but I AM TRYING.  I also have pregnancy acne that is only now getting better, so that’s been fun.  I’m not saying any of this to garner sympathy or be woe is me.  I’m just saying it because I’m tired of people, especially strangers, saying whatever the F they want to me and thinking its okay.

There is a reason the advice of if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all has stuck around for so long.  It’s especially important to be nice to pregnant ladies.  You never know when we are going to snap and attack you.  My attack time is fast approaching.