I don’t know about you, but nothing says fall family time like driving out to the pumpkin patch only to sit in traffic and scream at each other over port-a-potties, am I right?  Oh, is that just us?  OK then.

We drove to Battleview Orchards yesterday to go pumpkin and apple picking because I said I didn’t want to be stuck in the house all day (I should have stayed in the house) and because it’s fall and that is what required of you.  I hear your Instagram gets deleted if you don’t have quality pumpkin photographs by the end of October.  Anyway, we went to the country store first and it was a madhouse, which should have given us a clue as to how this day was going to go.  Then, we realized we needed CASH ONLY for apples and pumpkins so we had to travel to find an ATM (WHO CARRIES CASH IN COPIOUS AMOUNTS NOWADAYS I ASK YOU), and it was during this journey that Charlotte and I both had to pee.  We then realize all that is available to us are port-a-potties in the parking lot.  I would rather get a UTI from holing my pee than use a port-a-potty, so this is the part of the day where Eric and I screamed at each other about said urination needs.  So, we go BACK to the crowded parking lot to go to the port-a-potty, and when I open the door Char starts SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER and starts running in the opposite direction.  Same girl, same.  She refused to go near them, and none of them had toilet paper anyway.  So we get back in the car, drive to the pumpkin patch, drive through the parking lot and LEAVE to go get pizza and a bathroom.  We arrive at the pizza place and Charlotte sees the bathroom and, I kid you not, screams with joy. “THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER! THE SMELL IN HERE IS REGULAR! THIS IS A REGULAR BATHROOM!” and neither one of us have been so happy to pee in all our days.

After we peed and ate our spirits improved and we decided to go to a store that sold pumpkins, which is what we should have done from the get go.  Charlotte still thought we were pumpkin picking, we still took the obligatory pumpkin photos for social media and we went home with fun fall decorations that I then had to put a hot pepper bath on because the squirrels are attacking my gourds.


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