Mommy No More

I have to be honest – I wasn’t prepared for the transition from “mommy” to “mom.”  It happened to quickly that I don’t think I even realized it was happening.  She hasn’t given up calling me mommy entirely.  I still get it when she is scared or crying or wants to cuddle, but for the most part, I’m mom.  Every once in a blue moon I’ll get a mama, but that also ended before I was ready.  It is things like this that make me realize how quickly the time goes.  The little girl I come home to every night that greets me with a “hi mom!” isn’t a baby anymore.   Is she even a toddler?  Are you still a toddler at almost 4 and a half years old or has she entered kids territory?  Have I lost the mommy title because of this?

There’s always going to be a last time for something, whether in motherhood or just life in general.  And most of the the time you won’t know it’s the last time, which makes it all the more upsetting.  With every “mom” I know that “mommy” time is running out.  Every time she tells me she can’t walk because she wants me to hold her could be the very last time she asks me to hold her.  One day I won’t bathe her anymore, I won’t help her brush her hair or help her brush her teeth, I won’t get her clothes out and help her put them on.  She won’t be standing in front of me, telling me that her shorts are “a little twisted.”  Some things I think I’ll be happy when it’s the last time – like toilet supervision since she still doesn’t understand that an entire roll of toilet paper is not needed for a single pee.

But I want to mommy for a little longer.  I’m not ready for it to be that last time.