I vividly remember when Charlotte had to go for her one month checkup and I was reading every single article on the planet about the vaccinations she would be getting and how absolutely horrified and anxious I got with each and every article. Not because I am an anti-vaxxer (VACCINATE YOUR DAMN KIDS!!!) but because I was so incredibly upset over how she could get a reaction and how to soothe her from the pain of it all. WHAT A MORON I WAS.
Vaccines back then were NOTHING compared to vaccines now. Ever since I told Charlotte we were going to the doctor (rookie mistake) she kept saying to me over and over and over, “this doctor doesn’t give shots right?” And I didn’t want to lie to her so I said what my mom always said to me, “we’ll see what happens!” She was a champ for the entire checkup and then the doctor came in with the shot box. I held her hands and looked into her face and told her what a big brave girl she was. And then I watched her face as the needle went in and she went from brave to, “my mother has betrayed me.” She screamed, she cried, she tried to rip her arm off. And then she saw the second needle. This is when she threw herself off the table and I had to pick her up, get on top of the table and hold her down to administer shot number 2 and she screamed at the top of her lungs, “I am never coming here again! Why are you doing this to me!” So I screamed back, “SO YOU DON’T GET POLIO!!!!” and the doctor laughed and quickly ran the hell out of the room. It was TRAUMATIC for the both of us and I’m already anxious about her 5 year checkup where she needs two more shots. I’m making Eric take her for that.
She did get something out of this visit though because the doctor told her to try new foods and she actually tried peanut butter last night. She didn’t like it, of course, but she tried it. And then she cried herself to sleep over the fact that I took her for shots even though I told her that getting polio would be wayyyyy worse.