Just Use AMAZON

The other morning when I was getting ready for work, Charlotte was lamenting about the fact that she only has Kermit and Fozzie figures when she needs ALL the Muppet Babies.  This came on the heels of the epic meltdown she had the day before over the fact that I gave my cousin’s son a paw patrol toy and SHE didn’t have a paw patrol toy and why was I the meanest mother on the planet?  Do any of your kids just think they can have anything and everything or am I the only one?  I try to explain wants and needs to her, but in her mind she NEEDS everything.  Anyway, when she asked me for more Muppet Babies I said, very calmly, “why do you think you’re entitled to every toy in the land?”  And without missing a beat she replied, “because I’m the greatest.”  Which on the one hand is funny coming out her mouth, but on the other hand I certainly don’t want her to truly believe she is the greatest, because she is SO FAR from that.  I mean, I write blog posts about how far from greatness she is.  One day she’ll understand.

So, I took this time to explain that toys don’t just appear out of thin air like magic.  And this is when she said to me, in a very condescending tone, “you can just use AMAZON.”  I was stunned into silence because I didn’t realize she even knew what Amazon was, that using it is, in fact, like magic, and that she assumed I would use Amazon for all of her toy wanting needs.  This is also when I realized I use Amazon WAY TOO MUCH.  I realize that this entire story is making her seem like a spoiled brat (which sometimes she is) but the ending of this tale proves she’s not all bad.  I told her that anything she gets, from us or from others, costs money.  And people work hard for their money, so she can’t just get whatever she wants, whenever she wants it.  She walked away from me, so I thought she was just ignoring my explanation – but then she came back with 4 quarters in her hand from her green piggy bank and said, “now you buy it for me?”

MAN SHE IS THE GREATEST.