Last night I was taking a shower for what I thought would be my only 5-7 minutes of peace for the day when the door was violently thrown open and I heard the whining of my offspring right as I began to shampoo my hair that was desperately in need of a wash.

“MOMMMMMYYYYY. THE PHONE IS DARKKKKK. MOMMYYYYYY I NEED YOUUUUUU.”

And the next thing I knew she was trying to thrust Eric’s phone into the shower to fix whatever video she was watching as I was trying to shave my legs and remove shampoo all at the same time because heaven forbid I take a shower longer than 30 seconds.

I started shouting for Eric to come assist me and get the child out of the bathroom but he couldn’t hear me at first because he was playing Fortnite with his gaming headphones on.  Because of course he was.

When she finally started screaming loud enough for him to hear her over the chatter of his gaming friends, he came to the bathroom to help her when she started yelling even louder that he couldn’t help her.  Because he is a boy and she is a girl and only girls like mommy can help her.  Eric said “I’m not a boy, I’m daddy!” Which is confusing AF, but she listened to him and I was able to finish my shower in peace.

I have no idea where this thought came from but she better get it the hell out of her head real quick.  I’m all for the feminist “women can do it all” rhetoric but I am certainly not going to do every little thing for her because I’m a girl.  Hell to the no.

Also, I’d like to point out that Charlotte no longer asks me what wine is when she sees me pour it and bring it into the bedroom while we watch TV.  She just says, “oh, wine! I have a taste?”  I’m pretty proud of that.  I probably shouldn’t be, but I am.

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