I don’t know if any of you parents out there know the hell that is Blippi, but if you do, just know that I am with you and I am sorry. For those of you who are good parents who limit screen time, Blippi is a character on YouTube that posts “fun, educational videos for toddlers” and he starts every video with a catchy little jingle that goes “SO MUCH TO LEARN ABOUT IT’LL MAKE YOU WANNA SHOUT, BLIPPI!!!” That jingle repeats in my mind over and over and over and over and over. I’m singing it right now. I bet if you’re a parent who has a kid that watches Blippi you even sang that instead of reading it. It NEVER GOES AWAY. Anyway, Blippi does have some cute videos where he does teach random things and sings songs about stuff like animals in the ocean, tractors, colors, numbers, etc. But because YouTube (even YouTube kids, which is the only thing Char is allowed to have now after the Kermit Commits Suicide debacle) is a black hole, Charlotte somehow manages to find Blippi videos in other languages.
So NOW every time she starts a Blippi video she asks me if it’s in English. And because toddlers seem to enjoy arguing about everything, when I tell her it is, in fact, in English, she screams at me that it isn’t. She looks for the ones that aren’t in English just so she can be right. She is infuriating. This is my daily struggle.
Have kids they said.