I didn’t really thinking clothing fights with Charlotte would start until the teenage years.  I only imagined the “that’s far too short” type of argument when it came to getting dressed and not really the “you HAVE TO WEAR PANTS FFS” type of argument we have daily.  Summer has always been the easiest season to dress her.  Shorts, dress, skirt — boom we’re out the door.  NOT THIS SUMMER.

Charlotte REFUSES to wear dresses of any kind and her reasoning is that she can’t sit in the car in them.  I don’t understand this logic, but getting her in a dress is absolutely impossible.  The few times I have gotten her in a dress she says it hurts her because of the elastic on the waistband and then tries to violently rip it off her body until she is tangled inside the fabric and suffocating herself.

Shorts are a whole other issue.  She won’t wear any of the shorts that have any kind of elastic.  They hurt her.  Everything hurts this kid.  I’m starting to think she doesn’t think that word means what she thinks it means.  She will only wear a certain kind of shorts from Old Navy that are soft enough to her liking so I have purchased them in every color and pattern, but when I run out of them and they’re in the laundry, like they were yesterday, we have an apoplectic meltdown.

She won’t wear rompers of any kind.  Bikinis?  Forget it.  One piece bathing suits? No effing thank you. Underwear that is too tight is “not fair” in her own words.  Sandals that have any kind of snap or button that touches her precious little feet? Toss them in the trash.  Pajamas haven’t been necessary in a very long time.  She sleeps in only underwear (that are too big, because tight ones are obviously no fair) and even occasionally takes the underwear off in the middle of the night.

When I do manage to get an outfit to her liking on her she has to immediately take it off when we arrive at home or our destination.  Her shorts were off within 30 minutes of being at my grandma’s yesterday and the shirt came off not shortly after.

I have so many clothes this kid won’t wear.  Just drawers full of shit she got as gifts and I stupidly bought thinking she’d wear them.  I’ve wasted so much money on her and all she wants is to be naked forever.  Yesterday she fought me and Eric for over 20 minutes and she was crying so hard by the end of it she was basically having a panic attack. Over shorts.  SHORTS!

God help me in September when she goes to school.

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