Reasons Why Charlotte Is Crying

• There was a line in Haagen Daaz and she thought the people in front of us were going to take all of the vanilla ice cream.
• She can’t pee because she has a pimple on her butt and she would only pee if I covered the pimple with my hand while she went.  This is real life.
• The pillow hurts her.  Her side of the bed is “not right.”  She needs to switch sides, multiple times.
• I put her food in the blue bowl when she wanted it in the green bowl.  And then she wouldn’t eat it until I let her put it inside the freezer and then take it out again and put it back into the blue bowl.
• Her hair was wet and she wanted it dry.  But she didn’t want it dried with a towel or with the hair dryer.  She wanted it dried with sorcery.  I was all out of sorcery this particular night.
• I told her it was time to brush her teeth.  Instant meltdown.
• She’s hungry.  But only for ice cream, ice pops or milk.  If anything else is offered to her the hunger magically disappears.
• She cries every night when she is exhausted but won’t give in to sleep.  She insists she’s sick.  Every. single. night. “I don’t feel well! I’m sick!”  until she eventually passes out.

So many tears, not enough wine.