The Art of Negotiation

I never thought I’d need to brush up on my negotiation skills to interact with an almost 3 year old, but here we are. Charlotte tries to negotiate every aspect of her life. What clothes she wears, what she eats, how much she eats, when she goes to bed. I wouldn’t say everything is a fight, but everything is certainly a deal in the making with her. She will tell me that if she has to wear pants, then she’s going to wear a nightgown as a shirt. She’ll tell me that if she has to eat dinner, then she needs to have an ice pop after. If she has to go to bed, then she’s going to watch “two more minutes” of Trolls.

Last night we went to the diner for dinner. Since my grandpa died three years ago I’ve decided to celebrate his birthday with Charlotte and Eric by eating waffles and ice cream like I had with him on his very last birthday. Charlotte, of course, took this to mean that she was having ice cream for dinner. On the car ride there she said she was getting “nilla with frinkles” and I told her hell to the NO. Then she started her negotiations.

“I have crackers, then ice cream.”

I told her she can have noodle soup.

“NOODLE SOUP BAD!”

I said then no ice cream.

“Ok ok ok. I have crackers, then a yittle but of soup, THEN ice cream. Deal?”

And then she makes me shake her hand and do a pinky promise in which she kisses her pinky and makes me kiss my pinky. This is how every deal she makes ends. I have no idea who taught her this because it certainly wasn’t me.

BUT, she ate her crackers and her soup! Eric taught her to dip the crackers into the soup too and she loved that. It makes me gag, but at least I got chicken and vegetables into her body.

At least the kid keeps her end of the deal.