GUYS GUYS GUYS.  Charlotte has been in underwear since Thursday!!  What a glorious miracle!  We even went OUT OF THE HOUSE for HOURS in underwear with no accidents!  Okay, so she may have crapped herself like a dog yesterday but STILL.  One accident! We are winning over here!  Maybe we’ll be a diaper free house by the time she is 3! Which, holy shit, is approaching at a RAPID rate.  I can’t believe my little chicken is going to be 3 years old in less than 2 months.  That is so crazy to me.  I’m going to have so many questions for the doctor at her checkup.  Such as, is it normal that all she consumes is macaroni and butter, life cereal and cheerios with the occasional piece of fruit?  Is ice cream considered healthy because it is made with milk and milk is dairy and dairy is good for bones?  Will she ever stop her obsession with her “mickey ba?” or are we going to be going to school begging the teacher to “TAKE YA EARRING OFF” so she can tug on the teacher’s ear lobe as she ingests copious amounts of milk?  The doctor will probably kick me out of the examining room with a shrug of her shoulders and a bleak “good luck to you with this one.”  Ah well, we’ve got time.

In other news, I’m going to Punta Cana in TWO DAYS.  TWO DAYS!!!!!  48 hours from now  I will be en route on the plane drinking bloody mary’s with my best friend.  I don’t believe there is a word in the English language, or any language for that matter, that can properly express the excitement I have for this trip.  Is it weird that I’m not really too upset about missing my child for 5 days?  Should I be sad or worried?  Maybe the worry will hit me when I get to the airport, but I highly doubt it.  Char is difficult with a capital D, and this mama needs a break.  This mama will have sun and sand and drinks and SLEEP.  This mama will be able to eat a meal without worrying about getting some sort of nutrient in someone else’s body.  This mama won’t have to pour milk into a mickey ba and have her ears assaulted for FIVE DAYS.  This mama WON’T HAVE TO BE A MAMA!!!  I am certain I will miss her, but I am also certain that feeling will go away once I get a pina colada in my hand and my toes in the sand.  She’ll be in good hands the whole time and she’ll just be extra happy to see me when I get home.  But we are not thinking about the trip home yet, oh no we are not.


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