We had our first legitimate sick visit to the doctor yesterday.  Charlotte has been sick before, but it’s only been a cold that lasts a few days, or a fever that lasted for like 2 hours once that I think was due to teething.  Tuesday night Charlotte woke me up by rolling next to me and letting me feel the furnace that was her body.  I’ve never felt skin so hot in my life.  I was certain that when I took her temperature it was going to read 120 degrees and we were going to be on our way to the ER.  She was only at 101.6, which isn’t threatening, but also is not something she’s ever hit before.  I gave her Motrin and then we proceeded to stay awake until 5 in the morning watching TV.  Needless to say, I did not go to work.

I wasn’t going to take her to the doctor for just a fever, but that’s when I saw red spots in the back of her throat.  And that’s when the dreaded word came into my mind.

Coxsackie.

I have a fear of this virus.  It’s basically hand, foot & mouth disease.  And while it isn’t serious, it’s disgusting.  Just look up some photos on Google images.  I’ll wait.  Do you want to die now?  I thought so.  Look, I don’t do well with rashes.  I completely understand why they made leprosy houses back in the medieval times or whenever it was that they did that.  Rashes are disgusting.  So, when we went to the doctor and they did a rapid strep test, I have never in my life prayed harder than I did in that moment for a test to come back positive.  It didn’t.  Doctor said it’s most likely coxsackie, there is no medication to take except medicine to help with the fever, and she may or may not get the rash on her hands and feet.  So far there’s no rash or sign of rash.  And I know because I have been obsessively checking.  When I went to bed last night I was shining a flashlight on her hands and feet.

It really, really sucks when your kid is sick.  All night last night she just wanted me to hold her, and even though I knew I had to come to work today and that I was exhausted from the lack of sleep the night before, I held her the entire night.  I brushed her sweaty hair out of her face, I kissed her cheeks when she would whimper or cry, and I lit up the room with my flashlight making sure the hand that she was rubbing my ears with didn’t contain red sores.  Oh, motherhood.