Last night I slept with Charlotte in the den at my mom’s house because she wouldn’t go to sleep and I was too tired to give a shit.  She rolled over at 2:30 in the morning to cry about watermelon and tell me to put my glasses on.  She was still asleep.  W.T.F.

She ate bubbles for dinner last night because she’s on a hunger strike whenever she is near me, and from 7:30 on she had gas.  I am not surprised by this.  She was very surprised by this.  In the car she was screaming that her belly hurt, then she would pass gas, announce that she farted and start laughing.  Farts are very funny to her.  “Char fart!” is one of her best sentences.

Her aversion to having her hair up has now spread to me.  She does not want me to put my hair up when I am around her, and the first thing she does when I get home from work is demand that my hair comes down and my earrings come off.  Since we have been in the thrall of a heat wave the better part of this week, I do not want to have my hair down.  Char doesn’t give a shit.

Tags are our enemy.  Tags on clothes, tags on toys, tags on my bath robe.  Any tag she sees she shouts “GET THE SKISSA! TAG OFF!”  I love that she calls a scissor a skissa, but I hate having to remove tags from everything.  I need to start writing the size of all of her clothes inside of them because if we have another kid and it’s another girl (hahahahaha) I am not going to know the size of ANYTHING and end up putting baby #2 in 3T clothes when she’s 1 because I won’t know the difference.  But I doubt I will care by then.  Baby #2 is a long way away and will be lucky if she even gets to wear clothes because I am sure Charlotte will have fully caused me to lose my mind by then.

The other night she started singing happy birthday to her vagina.  So there’s that.

When she starts to get sleepy she asks me to sing to her, and she gets really close to my face and likes to kiss my nose.  It’s very sweet and makes me remember why I love her and don’t run away when she’s doing thing like eating soap.  Then when she’s had enough she puts her hand over my mouth and says “mommy. no more” very serious and turns away from me.  Thanks kid.

Happy Friday everyone!  Looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow and getting boozy brunch! That’s what we get to do tomorrow, right?

1 Comment

  1. “The other night she started singing happy birthday to her vagina.  So there’s that.”
    That is SO something my daughter would do. I’m surprised she hasn’t yet to be quite honest.


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