Last night when I got home I asked Charlotte what she wanted for dinner like always.
Me: Do you want macaroni?
Me: Do you want bread? Cucumbers and dip? A scrambled egg? String cheese? Shredded cheese? A yogurt? The blood of our enemies?
Charlotte: NO NO NO. NOO NO NOOO.
Me: So what would you like for dinner, my darling precious girl? Please tell your mother, the short order line cook in your life.
Charlotte: CANDY! CHAR WANT CANDY!
I laughed at her and said she couldn’t have candy for dinner. I said candy is a treat and candy is not a nutritious meal that will make her big and strong. Too much candy is not good for little growing girls! She said okay and I managed to get half a cucumber (with about 47 tablespoons of ranch dressing), some macaroni and some bread into her for dinner. I declared this a victory.
And then I sat on my couch after I put her to bed and I laughed and laughed and laughed. Why? Because on Monday I ate Twizzlers for lunch. JOKE IS ON YOU KIDDO. CANDY CAN BE A MEAL! HIP HIP HOORAY FOR BEING THE ADULT!