To Be A Mother

“The joy in motherhood comes in moments.  There will be hard times and frustrating times, but amid the challenges there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.”

I can’t believe another Mother’s Day is right around the corner.  Before I had Charlotte the time leading up to Mother’s Day was like any other, focusing on getting gifts and cards and making plans to celebrate.  Since I’ve had Charlotte I feel like the time leading up to Mother’s Day is now more reflective, and I think about all of the moms I know and what it really means to be a mother.  It’s not about the cards and gifts, although please make sure you get those things because I think we deserve them, but it’s about realizing exactly what encompasses this job.  This calling.  This life we have rearing little ones.  It’s a time to actually understand what our own mothers went through, something I don’t think you can actually comprehend until you become a mother yourself, to be honest.

Being a mother is understanding that this life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.  There will be dark days in which you may think to yourself, “is this my life now? Forever?” and you will feel guilty for even thinking those thoughts.  But the darkness always makes room for light to shine through, whether it’s through your baby’s giggle, or first steps, or first word, or just some morning cuddles.  Being a mother is crying alone in a bathroom because you are so tired and so frustrated and you don’t think you can stand another moment.  Being a mother is accepting the moments of frustration and exhaustion and yet still persevering.  Being a mother is constantly being bombarded with someone’s needs before your own, constantly being touched and yet somehow feeling so lonely.  Being a mother is more than just the physical act of giving birth to a child.  It is a love that grows in ways you cannot even imagine.  With every sleepless night, with every tear that falls, somehow, someway, you love like you never thought possible.  Being a mother is not having any idea about what you are doing but doing it anyway.  It is finding strength in numbers, knowing when to ask for help, taking advice and ignoring advice, but ultimately doing what you think is best.  Being a mother is a privilege.  To shape a child into a person who will eventually forge their own path in this world.  To let your heart walk outside your body.  Being a mother is dreaming of the future while still trying to desperately cling onto your baby today.  Being a mother is overwhelming.  It is a lesson in patience and understanding.  It is the hardest thing I have ever done and think I ever will do, but being a mother is what I am now, before all else.  Being a mother is the greatest joy in my life.  There are not enough words to adequately express the person I am today because of my Charlotte.  The person I want to be for her.  She is a living piece of my soul and this journey she has put me on is the greatest thing I have ever done.

Happy early Mother’s Day to all of you moms out there.  You are all wonderful, selfless, caring women who are stronger than you know and you deserve the world.