by Hoo boy. It’s only 8:23 as I write this but I feel like I’ve been through a few rounds in the ring already. Lately Charlotte has been sleeping until at least 6:30 in the mornings so I have been out of the house and on my way to work without even seeing her. It made me a little sad not to have my morning buddy but then I realized how absolutely f’ing wonderful it was to have a hot cup of coffee and get ready without having Charlotte demand my attention at the same time. I was actually curling my hair in the mornings! I was looking like a human!
Well today she woke up at 5. You should see my hair today people. It is not curled. I do not look human. I got her bottle ready and brought her into my bed hoping we could lay there for a little while but of course we couldn’t. She was horrific. The second she finished her bottle she asked for more. I said no and she screamed like a banshee. Then I put on Mickey for her and tried to go make a cup of coffee but she refused to let me get up. She wouldn’t even let me pee. I went into the bathroom with her and she had to stand in front of me and hold my hands as she chanted at me “get up mama get up mama!” She tried to throw a towel into the toilet bowl before I could even flush. She asked me for a banana, I gave her a banana and she ate one bite and said no. She asked for toast. Did she eat the toast? Of course she didn’t eat the toast. Then she asked me for more milk — and now at this point I just don’t even care because I need to at least start getting ready for work so I gave her watered down milk but she HAD to lay on me and pull my ear lobes as she drank it. Then she asked me for an egg but SHE wanted to make the egg. So she screamed at me because I wouldn’t let her near the fire. She had to follow me into my room while I got dressed and stare at me. Let me just say it’s a bit unsettling to have a toddler stare at you as you pee and get dressed. I was counting down the minutes until the babysitter came because she was so whiny and so clingy and honestly just plain annoying. And then the babysitter came in and Charlotte went into the kitchen and threw herself on the hard tile floor and screamed until her face turned purple, because of course she did. I had to sit on the couch with her while she screamed her head off and demanded more milk. Why is this kid always asking for a million ounces of fucking milk? She finally stopped screaming long enough to act happy with the babysitter, started eating her cold egg and I left. She said bye and seemed to be fine but then I heard her screams again as I walked to my car. But you know what? At that point I didn’t give a shit because I just couldn’t handle it. And now I feel awful about that and I hope she’s okay. MEHHH. The weather is really reflecting the mood of this day already.
The Mommy Minutes 
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