Num Nums No More

I was hesitant about writing this last week because I wasn’t sure if my plan or will power would last, but here we are, a week later, and the era of nums nums has ceased.  I haven’t nursed Charlotte for over a week, and the breastfeeding portion of motherhood is over for now.  Hip hip HOORAY!

I didn’t plan on stopping last week.  In fact, I planned on going to her second birthday and ending it then.  But last week it came about pretty naturally, and we did it right before she went to bed on Sunday night when we were alone and something told me that was it.  I put band aids on my boobs for 3 days, switched her over to a new big girl bottle (thanks to Auntie Bri and Auntie Shay) and we haven’t looked back.  She is still asking me for it every day, but she hasn’t had a major meltdown and once I tell her no she accepts it, so this is how I know she was ready.  I was definitely ready too, but it was still a difficult week for me. The first day I was elated, but then I had a hormone crash as my boobs filled up with milk that was no longer needed.  I cried watching videos of her as a baby trying to nurse.  I wondered if I could do it in secret just a little longer, I got irrationally angry over nothing.  My skin broke out, my period started earlier than usual and I was truly a mess.  I nursed her for 22 months, 3 weeks and 2 days.  I cried because I thought our relationship would change and she wouldn’t need me or want me as much.  I cried because I thought the absence of the miracle milk that has kept sickness from her for so long would lead to a terrible virus or some sort of disease.  But here we are, a week later, and my hormones seem to be leveling out and really, nothing has changed except the fact that I don’t have a little person clawing at my shirt anymore, which is a relief.  I’m glad we were successful for so long but now I’m glad it’s over.

The worst part about it is the magic calorie burning is gone.  Breastfeeding really did wonders for my body and I’m pretty sure that’s why I stuck with it as long as I did.  I try to follow the weight watchers program and because I’m not nursing anymore I’m not allowed to each as much and that really sucks!  WAH.