After you become a parent you have a lot of moments where you think to yourself how stupid you were thinking you knew anything about parenting and babies prior to actually creating one. Before I had Charlotte I always wondered why parents had to play children’s music in the car. Why can’t the baby listen to Z100 like the rest of the metro area?
Charlotte has an obsession with Elmo. It’s seriously like baby crack for her. We’ve been using Elmo videos to get her to stay still during particularly difficult diaper changes and she’s just a zombie holding the iPhone (screen time FOR THE WIN). I thought perhaps it was just watching Elmo that would do the trick, but on my way home from my parent’s house the other morning she decided she was going to scream like she was Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart and I, running out of options and sanity, decided to pump the YouTube video of “Elmo’s Got the Moves” (sung over and over for 6 minutes and 37 seconds, which in parent world is an eternity) through the Bluetooth speakers. She shut up instantly and went to sleep. I thought to myself, “OK then, Elmo’s got the moves and the magic touch. Good to know!”
Fast forward to last night, when Eric and I were driving home from my grandma’s house and we had to listen to the Elmo’s Best Songs videos on YouTube through the Bluetooth speakers to get her to shut up and relax. The entire ride. AND, because she is my child, she now HATES Elmo’s Got the Moves because she’s listened to it too many times and is bored of it, so we have to make sure we skip over that one. And because Eric and I have really lost our minds in this Elmo rave haze, all we do is sing the songs. Last night after she woke up at 2 and I fed her, I couldn’t fall back to sleep right away because I had fucking Adam Sandler in my head singing, “THIS IS A SONG ABOUT ELMO, ELMO, ELMO, ELMOOOOOOOO.”
I never thought I’d say this, but I miss listening to Rihanna.