Sometimes It’s OK To Lose Your Mind

I’m just going to get right to the point this morning.  After a particularly difficult weekend of shitty sleeping, Eric turned to me in the car yesterday and said, “do you ever wish you didn’t have a baby?” and I said YES without a moment of hesitation.  That sounds horrible even as I type it, but you know what?  It’s the fucking truth.  Some days I wish I could go home, put on PJ’s, drink my wine and watch the entire new season of House of Cards without worrying about putting a baby to bed or what time she’s going to wake up and raise hell.  Sometimes it would be nice to go back to the days of no responsibilities and sleeping in until noon.  And maybe I’m the only person who feels this way, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not.  I think that the reason why it felt so bad for me to think that and to think there’s something wrong with me for thinking that is because nobody is really talking about the times when they question why they had a baby.  Social media has turned parenting into how many likes you can get and how many filters you can throw on to portray the perfect life.  But you know what?  For every picture I post of Charlotte looking adorable, there’s still another 23 hours of the day in which she is most likely going to do something that makes me question my sanity that I am not photographing.  I still love her more than anything, but some days you need to take a step back and realize it’s totally OK to lose your god damn mind and to realize that if you have thoughts or feelings about the days of baby freedom you can come over and sit with me.  We can talk about how much we love our babies and then about how much we want to run away to Argentina all in the same sentence.  Come on over to my side and we can throw an Instagram filter on our feelings.  #ItsOkToLoseYoMind