by Here are just a few of the things I say to Charlotte on a daily basis.
- “Why are you awake? The sun isn’t awake. Nobody is awake but you.”
- “Good, go back to sleep right before mommy has to wake up to get ready for work. You’re so considerate.”
- “Don’t touch that. Don’t touch that either. Stop touching that.”
- “Stop climbing. The TV unit is not your personal Mt. Everest. Stop hanging from there. Don’t bang the cable box.”
- “Stop throwing the remote. Take your play remote and throw that.”
- “Did you just order a movie? How did you do that? I’ve never seen this TV display before in my life.”
- “The toilet is not a toy. Stop trying to climb into the tub. Stop unrolling the toilet paper. I’m going to shut the bathroom door from now on!”
- “Don’t hit mommy. Don’t hit daddy. Do nice! DO NICE!!!”
- “Don’t bite me. DO NICE, CHARLOTTE. DO NICE!”
- “Please just eat the food, don’t play with the food. Don’t put the oatmeal in your hair. Oh great, now I have to wash your hair AGAIN.”
- “Stay still and let me change you! TAKE A TOY. TAKE MY PHONE. STOP FLIPPING. YOU NEED A DIAPER. YOU CAN’T BE NAKED!”
- “Fine, be naked, but please don’t pee on the rug.”
- “Don’t hang from your dresser. The dresser is not a jungle gym.”
- “YOU NEED TO WEAR PANTS AND SOCKS TO GO OUTSIDE.”
- “DO NICEEEEEEEEEEE TO MOMMY DO NICE!!!”
- “You are so cute I want to bite you. But biting is bad, like I told you 100 times before.”
- “I love you so so so so so so so so sooooooooooo much.”
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