I am back at work after a long weekend at home stuck in the house after Winter Storm Jonas beat the shit out of us in NYC.  Oh my GOD.  Blizzard with a baby.  NOT THE BEST COMBO.  We woke up Saturday morning to at least half a foot of snow already on the ground, and Eric still had to drive home.  We went about our normal morning routine, I had my coffee, she played with her toys, I showed her the snow outside, she gave 0 fucks.  All good stuff.  About an hour and a half went by, Eric got home and went to bed.  And that’s when I realized we were going to be in this exact same position for two whole days.  I started cooking things and eating them out of pure boredom.  We played with every single one of her toys and left them scattered all over the house.  It looked like a bomb exploded in our place, but what was the point of cleaning them up just to have her take them out again?  I tried to read her stories and watch some educational TV shows with her, but by this time it was only 11:30 AM and I was already close to losing my mind.  So I left her on the floor of the living room surrounded by every single thing she owns, and I watched two episodes of Vanderpump Rules and two episodes of Teen Mom.  No shame in my game.  I mean, it would be one thing to be snowed in if she were old enough to sit on the couch with me and watch 100 Disney movies in a row, but she’s not at that age yet, so I get to choose what we watch during our isolation from society.  And I choose Teen Mom.

My neighbor who has a son 3 weeks younger than Charlotte was going just about as insane as I was, and she trekked over to my place just so we could hang out for an hour!  This is what insanity looks like.  Charlotte was legitimately SQUEALING with delight when they blew in the door because without a doubt she was just as bored with looking at me and only me as I was with our snowed in situation.  I put her to bed at 7 PM and Eric and I went to sleep at 8:30.  WOW.

Sunday was better if only because Eric was awake with me all day long so I had someone else to commiserate with.  We put the baby in the snow.  It did not go well.  We tried this twice, just to get out of the house and get some fresh air and while she did not scream her head off the second time, she did not crack a smile ONCE.  After that all she wanted to do was rip her clothes off, sit in bed with me and play with a spoon, so that’s what I let her do.  I watched Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives while she chewed a metal spoon for 25 minutes and had a grand old time.  I got her to bed at 7 PM and I think I fell asleep at 7:48.  God, what a fun loving person I am in motherhood.

Please, please, PLEASE do not snow like that again, winter.  I understand if we need to have a few more inches dropped upon us, but no more 29 inches in one fell swoop.  Please don’t trap me.  PLEASE.

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