The Hunger Games 

Breastfeeding was a decision I made long before I got pregnant with Charlotte. In truth, I wanted to breastfeed because I’ve always wanted bigger boobs and the ability to lose pregnancy weight faster, but the health benefits were also an added plus.  Other than labor and delivery, the beginning of my nursing relationship with Charlie was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I got bigger boobs alright, and they felt like rocks strapped to my chest and hurt something awful. Every time the baby had to eat I would cringe inside (okay, I also sobbed on the outside too..) because it was so hard to get her to latch and then when she did finally latch it was equivalent to 10 million tiny needles stabbing my nipples.  (Side note: I just realized I hate the word nipples.)  I don’t know about any of you, but I wasn’t used to someone gnawing on my boobs 10-12 times a day.  The first two weeks were really just the worst, but I’m so glad I stuck with it. My husband and and my mom were so supportive and every time I wanted to quit they would reassure me, and now Charlie and I are old pros. I can feed her in public  without batting an eye now, which is good because Charlotte’s hunger screams are like actual murder screams.  If I don’t feed the child fast enough she claws at her face and wails like I am sticking bamboo under her fingernails and she starts sweating like a beast.  So she basically acts just like me when I’m hungry. I’m usually really good about feeding her as quickly as possible so we can avoid this scenario. Except for yesterday, when the LIE was bumper to bumper and Charlotte woke up with 35 minutes remaining of the journey.  And so the screams began. I could see her face in the mirror turning shades of magenta that would make a nice nail polish color. We could call it “Hunger Screams” by Essie. I had to make the decision of whether or not to get off the highway or to test out my theory that a child could actually kill themselves by crying. With a mile to go to an exit, I endured the screaming just long enough for her to start gagging herself, pulled over and fed my sweaty, screaming baby on the side of the road where a chinese man kept skating by my car on his skateboard for his afternoon entertainment. File that under things I’d never thought I’d do.